Hogwartian Filks: The non carols set
by JustJeanette
Summary: NEW: The Severus sung to Michael Jackson's Thriller. Friday 13th July....Jeanette Ducks for Cover
1. Avada Kedavra

Avada Kedavra  
  
I don't own Harry or the Lion King, if I did I wouldn't have to   
work. This is some silliness to alleviate stress... forgive me.

* * *

**Avada Kedavra** Sung to _Hakuna Matata_

* * *

[Voldemort and the Death Eater Chorus]  
  
Avada Kedavra!   
What a wonderful curse  
Avada Kedavra!   
Will put you in a hearse  
You're dead and burried for the rest of your days  
It's our killing-spree philosophy  
  
Avada Kedavra!  
Avada Kedavra?  
  
[Death Eater Chorus ]  
Yeah. It's our motto!  
[Voldemort]  
What's a motto?  
[Death Eater Chorus]  
Nothing. What's a-motto with you?  
  
[Voldemort and the Death Eater Chorus]  
Those two words will solve all your problems  
  
[Death Eater Chorus: spoken ]  
-That's right. Take Voldemort here  
[Death Eater Chorus: sung ]  
Why, when he was a young Wizard...  
  
[Voldemort: sung BADLY]  
When I was a young Wizaaaard   
  
[Death Eater Chorus: spoken ]  
-Very Bad  
  
[Voldemort: spoken ]  
-Thanks  
  
[Death Eater Chorus]  
He found his Blood lacked a certain appeal  
So he found away to make the others feel  
  
[Voldemort]  
I'm a Pure Blooded soul though I I've been Mud Born  
And I'll kill them all till their world is Torn   
  
[Voldemort] [Death Eater Chorus]  
And oh, the shame-----------------------He was ashamed  
Thought of changin' my name---------What's in a name?  
So Tom Riddle departed----------------How did ya feel?  
And Voldemort got st…..  
  
[Death Eater Chorus: spoken]  
-Hey! Voldemort! Not in front of the kids!  
  
[Voldemort: spoken]  
-Oh. Tough  
  
[All]  
Avada Kedavra! What a wonderful curse  
Avada Kedavra! Ain't no passing craze  
It means no worries for the rest of your days  
It's our killing-spree philosophy  
  
[All]  
Avada Kedavra!  
Avada Kedavra?  
Avada Kedavra!  
  
[All]  
It means no worries for the rest of your days  
It's our killing-spree philosophy  
Avada Kedavra!  
(Repeats)  
  
[All: spoken]  
I say "Avada"  
  
[All: spoken]  
I say " Kedavra "  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Love Jeanette   
  



	2. The Lion Sleeps Tonight

**The Lion Sleeps Tonight **

I don't own Harry or the Lion King, or the original Zulu, if I did I wouldn't have to work. This is some silliness to alleviate stress... forgive me.

* * *

The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Hogwarts) Sung to The Lion Sleeps Tonight

* * *

[Chorus] 

Wee-ooh wim-o-weh. Wee-ooh wim-o-weh. 

Wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh 

o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-weh. 

Wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh 

o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-weh. 

In the dungeon, the cold dark dungeon, Severus sleeps tonight 

In the dungeon, the cold dark dungeon, Severus sleeps tonight 

[Chorus] 

In the tower, Gryffindor tower, Hermione isn't there. 

In the tower, Gryffindor tower, Hermione isn't there 

[Chorus] 

Hush Hermione, my Love Hermione, sleep with me tonight 

Hush Hermione, my Love Hermione, sleep with me tonight 

[Chorus] 

In the dungeon, the cold dark dungeon, the lion sleep tonight. 

In the dungeon, the cold dark dungeon, the lion sleep tonight. 

* * *

Love Jeanette :) 


	3. I'm A Clever Girl Barbie Girl

It would seem I have a death wish. I've finally released "I'm A Clever Girl" for your consideration. I don't own Harry Potter or the song "Barbie Girl" by Aqua but I am a strange individual and this is the result.

* * *

**I'm A Clever Girl** sung to _Barbie Girl by Aqua_

* * *

Hi Hermione;  
Hi Professor;  
You want to go an brew?  
Sure Professor;  
Come in ...;  
  
I'm a clever girl, in a potion's world;   
He is caustic, so sarcastic;  
I'll chop daisy roots, mash Blast-Ended Skrewts  
Imagination, Potions our creation  
Come on Hermione, Let's go brewing  
  
I'm a clever girl, in a potion's world;   
He is caustic, so sarcastic;  
I'll chop daisy roots, mash Blast-Ended Skrewts  
Imagination, Potions our creation  
Come on Hermione, Let's go brewing  
  
I'm a very smart girl, in a Hogwarts world;  
Dress me down, Snark it hard, I'm your assistant;  
You are my Help, chop and grate, feel the power and hex;  
Stir it once, pour it there, potion magic  
  
You can pour, you can stir, if you say "I'm always right"  
  
uu-oooh..I'm a clever girl, in a potion's world;   
He is caustic, so sarcastic;  
I'll chop daisy roots, mash Blast-Ended Skrewts  
Imagination, Potions our creation  
  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
Ah, Ah, Ah, yea.  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
uu-oooh.. uu-oooh..  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
Ah, Ah, Ah, yea.  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
uu-oooh.. uu-oooh..  
  
Make me whirl, make me twirl, do whatever you please.  
I can act like a snake, I can sit on your knees  
Come jump up, be my tool, let us brew it again  
Hit the desk, stir around, let's get pounding  
  
You can pour, you can stir, if you say "I'm always right"  
You can pour, you can stir, if you say "I'm always right"  
  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
Ah, Ah, Ah, yea.  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
uu-oooh.. uu-oooh..  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
Ah, Ah, Ah, yea.  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
uu-oooh.. uu-oooh..  
  
I'm a clever girl, in a potion's world;   
He is caustic, so sarcastic;  
I'll chop daisy roots, mash Blast-Ended Skrewts  
Imagination, Potions our creation  
  
I'm a clever girl, in a potion's world;   
He is caustic, so sarcastic;  
I'll chop daisy roots, mash Blast-Ended Skrewts  
Imagination, Potions our creation  
  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
Ah, Ah, Ah, yea.  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
uu-oooh.. uu-oooh..  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
Ah, Ah, Ah, yea.  
Come on Hermione, let's go brewing  
uu-oooh.. uu-oooh..  
  
Oh, I´m having so much fun!  
  
Well Hermione, we are just getting started.  
  
Oh, I love you Snape.

* * *

Love Jeanette :)  



	4. SPEW

**S.P.E.W.**

* * *

I don't own Harry or the song YMCA by the Village People, if I did I wouldn't have to work. This is some silliness to alleviate stress... I'd ask forgiveness as well but this time you can all blame OzRatbag2, writer extraordinaire, she started it……

* * *

S.P.E.W. Sung to _YMCA by the Village people_

* * *

House Elf, there's no need to be free   
I said, house elf, we'll kill Hermione   
I said, house elf , cause she started up SPEW   
There's no need to be a good elf 

House elf, there's a place we all go   
I said, house elf, if you're in the know   
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find   
Many ways to be of service 

It's fun to avoid the SPEW   
It's fun to avoid the SPEW   
We have everything for young elves to enjoy   
You can head bang till it rings with joy 

House elf, are you working for free.   
I said, house elf, we'll enslave you quickly   
I said, house elf, the socks can go away   
But you've got to know that one thing 

No elf does it all by himself   
I said, house elf, grab a towel from the shelf   
And just stay here, away from SPEW   
I'm sure we can make you work today 

Chorus 

House elf, I was once offered socks   
I said, I was given Hermione's frocks   
I felt so free that I wanted to hide   
I felt the whole world was dark side 

That's when Albus came up to me   
And said house elf, take the floo up the street   
There's a place there away from SPEW   
They can start you working today 

It's fun to avoid the SPEW   
It's fun to avoid the SPEW   
You can be made clean   
You can cook a good meal   
You can work at whatever you feel

* * *

Love Jeanette :) 


	5. Severus sung to Layla

As always I don't own the music, I don't own the original lyrics and I especially don't own anything JRK has created... That said I do FILK. 

Layla is owned by (Eric Clapton and Jim Gordon)

* * *

Severus sung to _Layla by (Eric Clapton and Jim Gordon)

* * *

_What'll you do when they are hunting?  
And nobody believes you're on our side?  
You been serving, and spying much too long.  
You know your are my pride. 

_Chorus:  
Severus, I'm falling to my knees.  
Severus, I'm begging, saying please.  
Severus, won't you ease passing now._

I tried to give Harry information  
But I fear I've let you down.  
Like a fool, he'll not trust in you,  
Please hunt the Horocruxes down

_Chorus  
Severus, I'm falling to my knees.  
Severus, I'm begging, saying please.  
Severus, won't you ease passing now._

Let's make the best of the situation  
For I'll soon die anyway.  
Please don't say you'll never find a way  
And tell me death is not in vain.

_Chorus  
Severus, I'm falling to my knees.  
Severus, I'm begging, saying please.  
Severus, won't you ease passing now._

JJ (writing the last scene of the next Brother chapter but had to get this out out her head)


	6. The Severus sung to Thriller

Summary: It would seem I really have a death wish. For your consideration I give you "The Severus", a filking of Michael Jackson's classic: Thriller. As always, I don't own Harry Potter or the song " Thriller " by Michael Jackson but I am a strange individual and this is the result. Nor do I get paid as a song writer and I'm sure you can understand why…

* * *

**The Severus sung to Michael Jackson's Thriller.**  
_by JustJeanette_  
K+ (PG)

* * *

[1st Verse  
It's close to curfew, and Severus Snape is striding through the dark  
He's in the hallways, with a quiet tread he almost stops your heart  
You want to scream, but _Silencio_ grabs the sound before you make it  
You start to freeze as the Severus looks you right between the eyes,  
Your heart cries 

[Chorus  
Cause this is Severus; Severus Snape  
And no one's going save you from the points he's going to take  
You know it's Severus; Severus Snape  
You'll be scrubbing all your life inside a dungeon; a cauldron; tonight

[2nd Verse  
You hear his soft stride and realise that there is no where you can hide  
You feel his cold stare and menace as he approaches from the side  
You close your eyes and hope gaze goes passing by this night  
But all the while you hear the Potion master creepin' up behind  
You're Out Of Time

[Chorus  
Cause this is Severus; Severus Snape  
There ain't no second chance against man with hatred in his eyes  
You know it's Severus; Severus Snape  
You'll be scrubbing all your life inside a dungeon; a cauldron; tonight

[Bridge  
Curfew bell rings  
And prefects start to walk where they're assigned  
There's no escapin' the jaws of the dragon this time  
(They're open wide)  
This is the end of your life

He's out to get you, there's Dementor's closing in on every side  
They Will de-soul you, devour all the happiness inside  
Now Is The Time, _Expecto Patronum_ just may save your hide  
Cast through your fright, it'll save you from the terror of your dreams  
I'll Make You See

[Chorus  
Cause this is Severus; Severus Snape  
'Cause he'll detain you more than any other teacher would dare to try  
Cause This is Severus; Severus Snape  
So let's get running through the night; run from the Dementor, tormentor, terror of Severus here tonight

[Rap Performed By Voldemort  
Severus Snape stalks through the halls  
The curfew hour so close it calls  
To creatures all of ill intent  
Mischief all and time to rent  
And whosoever shall be found  
With out a pass for being round  
Must stand and face detentions hell  
And clean inside the cauldrons shell  
The foulest stench is in the air  
The gunk of Longbottom's failures here  
And Severus stalks in the room  
He's closing in to seal your doom  
And though you fight to still your flight  
Your body starts to shiver  
For no mere mortal witch can resist  
The silky voice of Severus

[Into Maniacal Laugh, In Deep Echo

* * *

JustJeanette…Running for her life. 


End file.
